Expensive Abby: My girlfriend cheated on me, she says I needs to be extra assured

DEAR ABBY: My longtime girlfriend and I broke up just lately. One of many causes was as a result of we didn’t agree on a definition of dishonest. She met a good friend by means of work whom I met as soon as, and what I noticed and heard throughout that interplay screamed he was a sleaze who needed to maneuver in on my lady. I voiced my considerations and requested her to cease seeing this good friend, and she or he agreed. 

Every week later, she renewed the friendship, speaking by means of Snapchat. For six months she would have drinks with him, go locations with him and have conversations with him with out telling me. She swears they by no means did something bodily. I had seen the indicators — now and again I’d discover she wasn’t the place she mentioned she could be, the automotive would odor like smoke, and we had been rising aside. 

Sooner or later, I lastly had had sufficient and we agreed to separate. Since our first day aside, they’ve been collectively. I’ve advised her she cheated on me and I couldn’t belief her. She insists she wasn’t dishonest and I ought to have been extra self-confident and trusting. When two individuals’s definition of dishonest differs, what do you do? Who is correct? — WONDERING IN WYOMING

DEAR WONDERING: You are proper! Your former girlfriend was sneaking round seeing somebody on the aspect and mendacity about it. That conduct is the definition of dishonest. Cease arguing along with her, and be glad that the connection is over and you’re free to seek out an sincere lady to like. I hope the 2 of them wind up collectively as a result of they deserve one another.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband died three years in the past. We’ve three grown daughters. He wrote in his will that I used to be to not be at his funeral, which was hurtful, as we had been married for 30 years. My two older daughters felt it essential to abide by his needs. This occurred through the pandemic, so not a lot was executed besides his burial. He didn’t remarry, however the lady he left me for was very a lot part of all of the planning. 

My two older daughters are actually planning a celebration of life for him. The issue is that they dwell out of state they usually need to stick with me. I don’t need to be concerned in any of this “celebration” and even host them. Their relationship with their father throughout their growing-up years was turbulent as a result of he was an offended individual more often than not. Now he’s their hero, which I additionally discover painful as a result of I used to be all the time their “protector.” 

Am I this all fallacious? What’s your recommendation in coping with this case? — SURVIVOR IN THE WEST

DEAR SURVIVOR: You had a protracted, sad marriage and a troublesome divorce that concerned one other lady. You may’t change the best way your two older daughters really feel about their “hero.” Inform your ladies they’re welcome at your private home any time they go to, however as a result of there are such a lot of disagreeable recollections related to this explicit occasion, you favor they bunk elsewhere this time.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.